Hello, echo chamber! I’ve decided to try to resurrect this blog even if just to have one more thing to do in my day as I have so much free time. One would think, after a partial diagnosis of a broken rib yesterday, that I would have more time. However, I have managed to work for nearly 3 months with just 23 functional ribs so it feels silly to slow down now.
As a horse person it will surprise relatively few that I do not take great care of myself. I did once ride some wild horses for 150 miles across Mongolia with a broken hand, but that is another story. I know it’s wrong, in theory, to ignore my health. It’s certainly a double standard when compared to how I care for my horses, but it is very hard to find time make time in my day when I work as much as I do.
Oddly enough, I have been trying. I made a commitment to myself this summer to practice better self care. I went on a vacation after over a year without one. I started doing more meditation, journaling. I created my own version of a tea ritual in the mornings where I boil water in my Tetsubin kettle and brew tea while listening to inspirational podcasts and music, rather than going straight for the news and my laptop. I even got my first massage.
Well, not my first massage, but my first in the United States. I’ve always only gotten massages on vacation in other countries where they are inexpensive in comparison, but I decided the back pain was getting serious enough I should try and help it out. I did not know at the time the pain in my back over the past two months was from a broken bone (formerly) attached to one of my vertebrae.
What followed was an often painful deep tissue massage. When I say this, know that I’ve had deep tissue massages before. I’ve had lovely Asian women standing on my body using their feet in ways you really can’t even imagine. Also, in case it bears repeating, I rode across Mongolia with a broken hand. My pain scale is different than yours.
I didn’t tell the masseuse when things hurt because I assumed it just meant she was working things out that needed working. About an hour after the massage I was on the couch at home in agony. I had ice on my back and my chest at the same time and was madly texting the masseuse to see what she’d done to me. To her credit, she was VERY concerned, and suggested I get seen by a doctor.
Fast forward another six weeks because I clearly rushed right to it, and sure enough the doctor thinks I broke a rib back in August. It is November as I write this. The doctor said ribs usually heal on their own, but I wasn’t doing it any favors riding and working as hard and long as I did afterwards. He asked why I didn’t come in sooner, and I explained that the normal amount of pain only turned into an unbearable amount of pain more recently. This got some looks. I reminded him of my hand.
One of my friends wisely said to me yesterday that pain is a signal, and it’s worth listening to my body. Coincidentally, I recently skipped one of my favorite daily wellness podcasts when Nial Breslin wouldn’t shut up about checking in with your body and what it is trying to tell you. I think, as horse people, we often ignore what our body is telling us until it is too broken to get on a horse any longer.
It’s reckless. It’s dangerous. It’s perhaps even ignorant to do so. I want to think I will do better. I’m going to try to do better, and encourage those around me to do the same. Feel free to keep me accountable.